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Here’s something from the hinterlands…The Fort Wayne Mad Ants are a minor league basketball team (which is evidently a thing) in Fort Wayne, America’s 77th largest city located in Iowa or Texas or Indiana or something.  The Mad Ants have not always had the most glorious record in basketball…but who cares?  Look at their glorious mascot!

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Number 00!

This 90s-looking abomination is appropriately known as “the Mad Ant.”  According to his website, he is 6’1” tall and his favorite food is “anything at your picnic.” I say “he” because that is how he self-identifies on the internet (although male ants should have wings…so I suspect he is really a female drone).

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The Mad Ant is pretty busy rooting for Mad Ants basketball and helping out at local charities, but big parts of his year are fairly empty, so if you want to book him at your party there is a link.