Irises are flowers in the genus Iris. They are named after the Greek goddess Iris [ed. So far this seems kind of circular] who traveled on rainbows which were also known as irises. Thus the familiar beautiful garden flowers are known by the Greek word for rainbow because they were available in a whole rainbow of colors.
This is all deeply relevant because four years ago I bought a beautiful iris and planted it in my garden. It started as a little green sprout and then, through the subsequent years grew into a magnificent thicket of sword shaped bright waxy leaves—but it never bloomed. Time worked its indignant wiles on my memory and I forgot what exactly what variety I had bought.
This year, finally, a bud sprouted on the iris! I have been so excited to find out the color of the mytery iris. I scoured the internet trying to figure out what I had bought (the irises pictured above “Batik” and were some of my guesses). There was even a dark moment when I thought about how quixotic my aesthetics can be and I feared I had bought a huge brown hypnotic werewolf iris!
But it turns out that the me of four years ago, made at least one good choice: here is the beautiful mystery iris as it appears now in my garden (along with my sphinx sculpture):
It is darkest violet edging into black with furry deep purple beards! I am pretty sure it is called “Night Ruler” which sounds like an evil cleric or a death knight! Yes! Sometimes my past choices come back to haunt me, but for once that guy did something really amazing and nice! I love this iris! Here is another picture of it which I drew.
“Night Ruler” has awakened my heart to a lust for irises—but any actions I take will require another four years to yield results and by then I will no doubt be living on a tropical beach in Greenland or fighting our robot overlords…or worse I will have again forgotten what I picked out and I will be forced to live beholden to the unfathomable whims of who I used to be.